Family Photo Eviction Notice
Dear Family Photos,
This letter serves as an official notice to remove yourself from the corner in the guest bedroom. You have become an unsightly stack of shoe and stationary boxes, envelopes, plastic cubes, and shipping cartons that sits precariously in the corner next to the closet. This unsteady pillar is almost five feet tall and makes getting items in and out of the closet difficult. In addition, these containers are not labeled, nor do they have an organizational pattern. This lack of orderliness makes access and enjoyment of the photos difficult, if not impossible.
One year should have been adequate time to organize and relocate these snapshots. This was especially true during the recent pandemic when there were fewer distractions. Since you have occupied this space for more than four years, Colorado law requires that you be given 90 days to move out or complete the following corrective actions. You will be evicted and relegated to a less invasive location, if the following steps are not taken.
Please be warned that these remedial actions may be difficult, cause emotional swings, and take substantial time. In order to stay and relocate to a better location within the home, you must
Purge all duplicate prints. Extras may be distributed to other family members or thrown away.
Remove all images of unidentifiable people.
a. When possible, identify sources to obtain the needed identification. If a source is not available, discard the image.
b. If there is doubt about disposing of a particular portrait, you may first scan and make a digital copy to be stored on a labeled memory stick.
Do away with all pics of activities no longer needed to document the family’s history.
a. If a photo isn’t needed for family history, but has sentimental value for someone, you may select a specific container for these photos. The container’s size becomes a boundary for the number of such sentimental images that may be kept. A statement from that person should be placed in the container informing her family members that upon her death these sentimental photos, that were for her own personal enjoyment, may be thrown out.
Organize all remaining snapshots by paternal, maternal, and current family units.
Sort all residual prints chronologically, when possible, or sort according to specific events – for example: picnics or parties whose dates are unknown.
Put all remaining images in containers or albums that are pleasing to look at and easy to access. Store yourself in a way that shows the respect and value you deserve.
Once in the proper containers, you should be labeled and dated, when possible. This will make you more valuable to current family members and future generations.
Finally, please find a better location in the residence. It should be a place where you are easy to retrieve, pleasant to look at, and will not interfere with accessing other objects.
All these actions must be taken before the 90-day time period has expired. If not completed within 90 days, you will be forcibly removed from your current location and relocated to the inside of a closet. This is not desired. We have found that items removed from sight are often left untouched and may never receive the attention they deserve.
You may request an extension to this time period. More time is rarely given. However, if you can show that you have made a good-faith effort to get these items done within the 90 days and substantial progress has been made, more time may be granted. This can be difficult to qualify for, so do not rely on this possibility.
A weekly examination will be taken of the stack to monitor the situation and an estimate of the percentage of the work completed will be logged. We wish you well as you take on this challenge. It is hoped that you will be successful in eliminating the excessive photos so those that remain will take a place of honor in the residence and will be regularly pored over and treasured by family and friends for many years.
Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…